Is it my imagination or are people getting more aggressive and demanding in their phone calls? I sense the world is becoming an increasingly stressed place and that people expect higher and higher standards of service and demand their "rights" more and more. Meanwhile, more people work with lessening resources and increasing workloads. A crazy world, isn't it? So, given this seems to be reality for many of us, how do we handle phone calls so we still feel good about ourselves and leave our callers feeling good about themselves. Of course maybe we should also ask, how can we, when we call other people, be kind to those on the other end too, even if we are complaining?
1. Be kind when you call.
When something has gone wrong and you're disappointed that everything isn't the way you wanted it to be the first time, do you take it out on the person who has made a mistake? Do you grizzle and groan or raise your voice? If so, you may be making it even harder for the person at the other end. How about remembering that we all make mistakes and being generous and kind when you call instead. You'll probably still get your complaint dealt with and be remembered as someone who's nice to deal with. Then if you ever have to complain again, you are more likely to be dealt with pleasantly.
For example, I recently ordered a series of Christmas gifts from one of our key charities. The gift money is sent to people in need and I receive a card to give to my friends with a picture of the gift on. Whilst going through my order, I noticed that I was short of two cards. I called. The person who answered the phone was very apologetic, almost as if she expected me to be really mad, and she said, "Oh I don't know how that can have happened." I replied, "It's easy to make a mistake when you're processing orders, isn't it?" To which she let go a sigh of relief and said, "Yes it is, isn't it?" The problem was easily sorted and we were both happy with the outcome. How can I do that? Easy. I remember the times when I've not done everything 100%.
2. Monitor what you are saying to yourself.
When someone goes "off" at you on the phone, monitor what you say to yourself about the person. I've found if I can think of something neutral to say to myself like, "Gosh she's having a bad day" I am much more likely to stay calm and not get stressed than if I'm saying something like, "You dork, who do you think you're talking to?"
3. Watch your tone of voice.
Have you ever noticed that it's possible to react negatively to the way someone says something to you, even though the words may be neutral? Sometimes our voices can tighten or sharpen so that we sound patronising, sarcastic or dismissive even if we are saying the right words. At other times our voices can convey boredom (how many more times do I have to answer the same question?), disinterest or a couldn't-care-less attitude. People on the other end of the phone will pick up on your voice tone - make sure you know what your voice is conveying. Don't let your negativity sneak out - even if it is busy this Christmas and people are stressed. Spread good cheer!
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Number 40: Superior Phone Skills By Rachel Green
Number 71: People who annoy you on the phone and in person ... and what to do about them. By Rachel Green
Tips:
Ten tips on coping with difficult people By Paul Mitchell.
5. Top tips on managing phone calls.
Tip A. Put a smile in your voice
How many times have you heard it said, "Put a smile in your voice." But do you do it? For every phone call? And do you do it sincerely rather than have a fixed grimace! A smile can be heard down the phone. People will hear if you are bright and pleasant. You will hear it in radio presenters too. We tune into voices - so have a nice one. My standard phrase before answering the phone is "pause-smile-answer".
Tip B. Accept that a caller is having a bad day
Remember how you feel when things go wrong? How easy it is to be disappointed, or to feel let down or powerless when things go wrong. How would you like to be dealt with under these conditions? Maybe to have your disappointment acknowledged? Maybe to hear an apology? Maybe to be dealt with in a pleasant manner? It's unlikely you'd want someone to be nasty back. So remember what it's like to have a bad day and treat people pleasantly.
Tip C. Be determined not to take the caller's emotions on board
If someone is angry, abusive, loud or aggressive at you, does it help you to get defensive, aggressive or angry back? Not usually. Instead, if you do, it means there are two of you with rising blood pressure, two of you going red in the face, two of you with an increased heart-rate. Leave those negative emotions with the caller, let them have the heart attack if they must and not you!
6. Competition
Want to be a winning contributor? It's easy, as long as you are a Rachel's Reflections subscriber. All you have to do this fortnight is to send us your best tips or stories on celebrating Christmas despite the stress, your families or whatever. What are your best memories? Your favourite activities? The worst arguments? The best conversations?
If we use your contribution on the website you'll be entered in the prize draw. Your prize? A free copy of my "How Not To Take Things Personally" tape set. http://www.RachelGreen.com/tape_personally.html
The winner of the last competition is: Marilyn Browne from the Perth Orthopaedic Institute. Her stress tip will be on the website shortly. And also this week a special prize goes to Mike Pez for sending us this week's fabulous joke. They've both won a wonderful book by Tony Ryan, (makes great Christmas presents) The Ripple Effect - How you can make a difference to the world everyday. For more details go to: http://www.headfirst.com.au/ripples
7. Have a laugh
Rachel's Reflections Reader, Mike Pez, from Department of Conservation and Land Management in Perth, Western Australia has sent us this fortnight's example of a somewhat scary example of how not to communicate. Thanks Mike!
(We take you now to the Oval Office with Condoleezza Rice (National Security Advisor) and George W.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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Until next time, may you keep your cool on the phone and enjoy the Christmas build up.
Have a good fortnight,
Rachel.
