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How to be happy at work, by Rachel Green.

25-Jan-2006, Number 176

Welcome to this 176th edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication to help you develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills and gain greater clarity, contentment, calm and confidence.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:

1. How to be happy matters.
   
2. Latest news: Beginner's guide to being a Master of Ceremonies.
3. Top tips on how to be happy at work.
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
5. Fortnightly Feelings: "I was peaceful".
6. Feature E-book "Seven fatal mistakes people make organising conference or seminar programmes"
7. Laugh your socks off.
   

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1. How to be happy matters.

I received a great gift this Christmas, from Gen: it was a calendar with a saying a day from that calm, kind Tibetan leader, the Dalai Lama. Every morning I look forward to what this great man says. Some mornings his sayings are so deep and profound they pass me right on by. Other days they connect with me and inspire me. As I read them I realise that above all else what he is trying to help us find, is happiness. I have happiness as my main goal in life, and I've realised, deep down, this is really what most of us strive for, although we differ in our levels of success and how we go about it. Consequently, I thought I'd do a whole series of newsletters on "How to be happy"; not just warm fuzzy stuff for general application but how to be happy in specific circumstances. So for tips on "How to be happy at work" read on to Section 3. Future newsletters will cover topics such as "How to be happy when you're ill", "How to be happy around negative, complaining people", "How to be happy when a change is forced upon you", How to be happy when it is easier to hate or resent" and finally "How to be happy when things don't go right". Why is this important enough for our newsletters? Because the field of positive psychology has evidence that clearly shows that happier people are healthier, and that happier people are more successful at work, have more friends and live longer. Your happiness will benefit not only yourself but also those around you at work or home. So it's not just a feel good thing but a practical contribution you can make to your work place and your family and indeed to our world.

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2. Latest news: Beginner's guide to being a Master of Ceremonies.

The fourth Electronic book (E-Book) is underway. It will be a beginner's guide to being a good Master of Ceremonies. Your input is welcome. Is there anything you'd like to know about being a Master of Ceremonies? Any good MCs that you've seen? Any boring or dreadful things you've seen MCs do? Any times you've been an MC and it's worked well or failed miserably? Any really good introductions you've used or heard? Send us your stories, introductions and questions. Anyone who has a contribution included in it will get a free copy, to the value of $25.

Electronic books, while using electricity, are a far more environmentally friendly way to get information and ideas to people than destroying our trees and using planes and freight and post and ... However they have other benefits as well - you can get them as soon as you need them as they are delivered immediately to your e-mail box. Some of ours contain a number of checklists so you can print off and use these as often as you want. And, if there is something extra you'd like included, we can do that easily for you and send you a new edition at no extra cost to you.

Once we've published this fourth one, then we'll only do one more and then take a break before writing any more. So this is your next to last chance for a while to be a part of one or to win a free one.

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3. Top tips on how to be happy at work.

Tip A. Stop reminding yourself of the bad things.

When it comes to having a job, and especially one that is stressful or you don't like, your negativity can get the better of you. Why? Because if you keep talking to yourself about what is bad about it, and talking to other people about what is bad about it, all you are doing is reinforcing that it's bad. You are hearing how bad it is over and over again. It distracts you from noticing what is good about it. And it makes the bad things seem even worse and bigger than ever. So your first step towards happiness at work is to stop reminding yourself of, or describing the bad parts. You are making your own misery.

Tip B. Write down a list of 10 good things about work.

Once you stop saying the bad things, you need to still have something to think about or say about work. Practise recognising, acknowledging and saying the good things. This can take a bit of discipline, at first, if you're not used to it. You might even argue with me that you can't find one good thing to say about work never mind 10! Well, there is a very good chance that a happy person is far more likely to see the good things and it's just that you haven't noticed them of late. So go and start looking. You can start with very basic things like the fact that you have money coming in each week, and listing some of the things this money enables you do to - from drinking a bottle of red, to going to the movies, to having a Chinese takeaway, to simply eating a healthy breakfast each morning. Then there are other things you could put on your list. For example, the good things it enables you to do for the other people on your team, or for your clients, customers or stake holders, or indeed for your society. We are all "cogs in the machine", so whether you empty our bins, put data onto computers, issue vehicle registration plates, drive the trains, make the radio news, sell us food, produce maps, or whatever your job involves, you are helping others. How does your job help you serve? Be grateful for that. And then think of the people at work. Surely some of them are nice? Focus on the good aspects of people to help you stay positive at work. If you find it hard to stay up around other people who may be negative come along to our featured course of the fortnight, "Up down or indifferent: How to manage your emotions and those of others" on Friday, 17th March 2006. Click here to register.

Tip C. Make your work place nicer.

If you're not happy at work, then make work a happier place for you to be. It may be that some gentle music through headphones might help, bringing in a muffin each day at tea break, or bringing in a bunch of flowers ... whatever it is that will bring some cheer. And what matters here is that cheer is contagious. Imagine what it would be like if you left a gift of a flower on everyone's desk one morning - would you increase the grumpiness or the happiness? You might get a buzz out of doing it, especially if you crept in and did it in secret! Then imagine the buzz others would get from it. Now flowers might not be the best present, but the idea can be adapted to your workplace.

Tip D. Praise yourself.

In some workplaces it's hard to get affirmation for the good work that you do and this can lower your satisfaction rating. Take responsibility instead for acknowledging your own good work - whether big or small. You might jot down in a journal things that worked well, or tell people of your success when you go home. Of course, one of the reasons you may not be getting the praise you deserve is that everyone else is also busy and isn't noticing what you do. You can let them know and this may help. Happiness comes as a result of our actions, not from suffering in silence hoping that it will arrive.

Tip E. Take a break for something positive.

Break up your working day by doing something that boosts your mood. It may be Tai Chi, yoga, massage or meditation. Find something that's easy to do at work and helps you rejuvenate and refresh. Some people simply wear themselves out at work and deplete their energy so badly that it is hard to stay happy simply because fatigue is so strong. So take care of yourself at work. If you want more helping managing to stay positive at work and helping others do the same come along to our feature course of the fortnight "Up down or indifferent: How to manage your emotions and those of others" on Friday, 17th March 2006. Click here to register.

4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.

Midlife and Happiness
Maybe you are not wanting to get older? Maybe you are regretting not making better use of your time? Maybe you are wondering what to do with the rest of your life? If so, then enjoy this celebration of being over 40 and over 50. It will provide you with a complete contrast to all those youth-is-all-that-is-good images you see on TV and in the magazines and show you just how good it can be to be older and wiser at 40, 50, and 60. In fact I have had some 29 year olds buy the book recently - I think they were feeling they were missing out on what we had! It can show you how to be happy irrespective of your age. Order now! Only $34.95, with no extra for postage, world-wide! I hope you'll read it.

Bonus: If you order and pay for a copy of "Midlife and Happiness" no later than Wednesday, 1st February 2006, then you will receive a FREE copy of the new E-book, "Seven fatal mistakes that people make when organising conference or seminar programmes and how to avoid them." It's worth $25 and it's NEW! So hurry as this offer closes Wednesday, 1st February 2006.

Other free newsletters:

There are now over 175 newsletters bursting with practical tips on the rachelgreen.com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish. Click here to read them.

Tips

Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Topics range from how to talk to teenagers or elderly parents to personality types, body language, midlife and developing your emotional intelligence. Click here to read them.

5. Check your Fortnightly Feelings: "I felt peaceful."

How many feeling words do you have in your vocabulary? You need the language of emotions to understand and think about emotions and to communicate clearly. Send us your stories of how you've been feeling and what the situation was that led you to feel that way. If your story gets published here you'll get a free copy of the E-book feeling dictionary once it gets published.

Today's word is peaceful.
There are many words associated with happiness, and, being at peace, or peaceful is one type of happiness. And it's the one I've experienced the most while I've been on Christmas holidays. I was on my own, the time pressure was gone, and I would sit in my garden, in the warmth of a summer day, watching the birds flitting through the trees and seeing them drinking at the bird bath. I'd marvel at some of the orange grevillea flowers and how big the bushes had grown in 2 years when our goats ate them to the ground! And I'd look at the view, at the trees, the blue sky and the clouds drifting by - and I'd feel a part of all this, the wonder of nature. And, as I'd sit there a deep sense of peace would develop in my heart. It's a beautiful emotion to feel. Peacefulness.

The strength of the emotion:
It is a deeply calming emotion on the happiness continuum.

Associated emotions:
Contentment, beautiful, enriched, calm, quiet, at peace, undisturbed, tranquil, appreciative, thoughtful, happy.

6a. Featured Electronic book (E-book) of the fortnight ...

Seven fatal mistakes organisers make with conference and seminar programmes. And how to avoid them.

Are you organising a conference or seminar programme without having much experience doing it before? Do you want to make sure it is successful? Yes! Then this E-book will help you and your committee avoid costly and embarrassing mistakes. In comparison to your other costs, such as refreshments, venue, printing, speakers, advertising, at only $25 Australian, it is a tiny amount out of your budget. Don't risk going ahead without it. Have your audience remembering you for all the right reasons.

One of the many tips from the E-book

How many times have you been to conferences or seminars and the speakers have dragged on, the sessions have dragged on, or there has been far too much shoved into one session. You end up bored, or restless, or with an aching back or a headache or longing for a cup of tea or wanting to go to the toilet. What needs to be done? Well there are many answers given in the E-book. One of them is this. If you are organising a conference or seminar programme put a maximum limit of 1.5 hours on each session. More details of how to do this are in the book, and other timing issues are covered too. Order now and receive it immediately.

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7. Laugh your socks off.

Thanks to Rachel's Reflections reader, Norma Bertram, for this fortnight's joke.

"It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

How I can help you gain greater clarity, contentment, calm or confidence now.

If you would like to have a conference or event with an energetic and entertaining speech, e-mail or call +61 8 9390 1188.

You can also attend regular public seminars in Western Australia, to develop your communication, presentation skills, emotional intelligence or networking strategies. To be automatically kept up-to-date on future courses please e-mail us at:

Job interview training is available, make an appointment now: e-mail:

If you need to enhance your people's communication, presentation, people management or emotional intelligence skills, I can help you:

Wanting to learn in your own time?

1. "Happy not hassled: Manage your emotions, meditate and find contentment": 2 CD set, only $45.
2. "How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET.": 2 CD set only $45.
3. "Midlife and Happiness": A book to inspire anyone over 40. Only $34.95.
4. "How to be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence": 3 CD set and booklet, only $75.

Order through our secure server on the website click here.

Also available:

5. An Electronic book: "What to do when women cry: A manual for men." 71 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website click here.
6. An Electronic book: "7 fatal mistakes people make when organising conferences or seminar programmes. And how to avoid them." 42 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website click here.

Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:

	How to be happy when you're ill.
	How to be happy around negative complaining people.
	How to be happy when change is forced on you.
	How to be happy when it is easier to hate or resent.
	How to be happy when things don't go right.

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Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or people skills. Thank you.