Welcome to this 178th edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication to help you develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills and gain greater clarity, contentment, calm and confidence.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our web site at http://www.rachelgreen.com
To subscribe or unsubscribe click here.
In this edition:
- How to be happy even when you're ill.
- Latest news: By-line competition continues - win ALL our products.
- Top tips on how to be happy even when you're ill.
- How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
- Feature E-book and free tip: "A Master of Ceremonies: A beginner's guide to being a brilliant MC."
- Laugh your socks off.
1. How to be happy even when you're ill.
I have recently been spending time with a wonderful woman who has been seriously ill with multiple cancers. Having survived chemotherapy, hospitalisations and many medical treatments she has made great improvement. The improvement however is only temporary. She remains with cancer in her spine and she has been told there is no cure and her life will not last much longer. What is so wonderful about her is that she is one of the calmest and most serene people who's company I've had the privilege of being in. We laugh together, we work together on a joint venture we are planning, and we talk, and through it all you'd not know there was anything wrong. What a contrast she is to most of us. We can be miserable just with a sore throat, or we grumble about our aches or pains, or we feel cheated when our health fails. So how can we still be happy even when we're ill? It's not easy, as for most of us our health is very important and without it we think that happiness isn't possible. Yet this woman, and another friend I have with severe arthritis, have shown me it is possible. Read on to the tips section to find out how.
2. Latest news: By-line competition continues - win ALL our products.
Wow! What a response to the request for help with the by-line - never before have we had anything like this!! I am trying to write back personally to each person so if you haven't heard from me yet - you will. Thank you all so much. The suggestions you sent were fascinating. There were many, many lovely slogans showing how creative you all are. I thought you'd have a good chuckle over the one Felicity sent in: "Learning how to enjoy life rather than endure it - with bonus chocolate Freddos!" (For those that don't know, I give Freddo frog chocolates out in my courses); and Sarah sent in, "Peace and light - the happy pessimist!" I also like one of Colin Pearce's "You are 10 times better than you think," but he's already got that one!
My test for the slogan is to see if it differentiates my work from that of other people. Would someone who knew nothing about what we do, read the by-line and know specifically what we do? Or could they confuse us with another line of work or business, such as a naturopath, a gym, a health and beauty parlour, a psychologist, a religious cult, a retreat centre, or a prozac dispenser! Many that I received caught part of what we do but didn't differentiate my field of work from other fields of work. So the competition is continuing.
And my other question is, is it catchy? By catchy, I mean something like the by-line of my local Indian Restaurant, "Great curries - No worries!" Or there is a woman called Shannon Lush, an expert in getting stains out of clothes etc., and she's known as "The Queen of Clean". So rhyme, alliteration and all that would be good too! I am not asking for much, am I?!
The fact that I do work in both communication skills and emotional intelligence makes my work unique but a by-line is tricky!
Here are the 12 best ones, so far.
 | Make your presence felt. (Nina's.)
|
| Clear. Calm. Confident. (Nina's.)
|
| EI and Communication - The stuff that matters. (Nina's.)
|
| Be your best more often. (Louise's.)
|
| Listen, share, talk - communicating with care and confidence. (Jude's.)
|
| Making communication a two-way success story. (Jude's.)
|
| Communicate, relate & create. (Jackie's.)
|
| Coaching for Confidence, Clarity & Contentment. (Dariel's.)
|
| Intelligent Communication. (Dariel's.)
|
| Lessons for Learning, Living and Loving. (Stephanie's.)
|
| Create yourself an Awesome Life, (Sheryl's); and one of my staff liked this one the best:
|
| Enhance the Dance of Life - Living Skills from Rachel Green. (Colin's.)
|
All these people will be sent a prize. But the big prize is still up for grabs.
Can you do better? This time we will keep it to a maximum of 5 words. The main prize is a copy of all our products. And everybody who enters will be sent a free E-book in return. So keep them coming! Thanks again.
And just one other piece of news, Gen., my wonderful Personal Assistant cum Office Manager for the last 2.5 years is leaving on 3rd March, on a new personal journey. I don't have a replacement yet but I'll let you know when we do. Her shoes will be hard to fill as those of you who have dealt with her or met her will know.
3. Top tips on how to be happy even when you're ill.
Tip A. Don't ask "Why me?"
Part of the agony of being sick is what we do and say to ourselves during the process. For example, we often start complaining about "Why me?", "It's not fair", "I'm too young", "What have I done to deserve this?", "No-one else has got this", "Why am I being punished?" and so on. My experience is that this rots away any contentment and calm that is possible. So let go of this kind of agonising examination. If it helps you find the cause of your sickness, then it's useful. If you're just beating yourself up then it's making things worse. Move to a greater acceptance that whatever has happened, has happened and that you are going to deal with it in the best way possible and get the best quality of life possible. This is not to deny that you are ill. It is not to deny yourself a search for treatment. It is simply to do what is needed without being hard on yourself and making things worse.
I was seriously ill in my 30s and on complete bed rest for four full months, and then half-day bed rest for another three months. People would keep complaining on my behalf: "But why you, it's not fair, you do so much to look after yourself" and on they went. In the end I quietly said to each of them, "Because I'm part of nature. Nature gets sick. Trees get sick. Flowers get sick. Young saplings get destroyed in storms, old leaves stay on the tree". This kind of thinking helped me so much. Instead of beating myself up I found a way to accept what had happened. This helped me retain some contentment. Whatever your illness what you say to yourself about it is your choice. And it's your thinking that will move you towards or away from happiness. And you've got more chance of recovering faster if you are happy - that's what the research shows.
Tip B. Don't go into "What ifs".
When we are ill it is very easy to get anxious about what may happen. If we start to say to ourselves, "What if I don't get better?", "What if I'll always be in pain?", "What if it's cancer?", "What if it gets worse?", "What if I can't go to the party on the weekend?" ... we move away from happiness and towards anxiety. "What ifs" are anxiety forming. I know I used to be really good at them when I had panic attacks! Don't let "what ifs" destroy your happiness. Simply stay with what is happening now.
Tip C. Focus on the present moment.
My friend with cancer explained that since her cancer she finds contentment by simply letting the past and worries go, and by not worrying about problems that arise. Instead she stays with whatever is happening in each moment and enjoys it. She says she is happy now, in this minute. She's got so good at doing this she can't even remember how long the doctors said she had to live! She is fully in the present moment and she's happy. I have seen her do it - it's amazing and inspiring. We can also work towards it. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could learn to do it without needing a severe illness to force us there?
Tip D. Focus on good things.
If you're in a lot of pain, if a lot of your body is sick, find something good to focus on. I know it can be hard to do, but when all you're doing is noticing the pain, you'll get consumed by the pain and bang goes your happiness. So what is there that's good? It might be that you're blessed to have a comfortable bed to lie in, that you have someone lovely looking after you, that your legs are fine ... anything that's good is a more worthy focus. There are still good things in your life if you look for them. The more you focus on the good things the more chance you have of being happy. For example, when I badly injured my thumb at the New Year 2005, I went straight to the emergency department at our hospital which is only ten minutes away. I had to wait about an hour before I could be treated and the doctor apologised. However I was thrilled to bits simply to be able to get to a hospital so easily and to have top quality care. The dreadful Tsunami had just struck and thousands were without any medical help at all. I simply felt lucky. And when I was on my bed rest - I'd laugh when people phoned to find out how I was and say "My right toe feels wonderful thanks". The rest of my body was very painful but describing all of that didn't help me to find contentment. So what you focus on makes a difference to how happy you are. Of course the happier you are the more chance you have of getting better, of getting better faster or of reducing the pain. Happier people are healthier and have stronger immune systems than unhappy people. Being happy isn't just a feel good thing, it's an essential life skill.
All the items covered here are strategies that Emotionally Intelligent people can use when they're ill. If you'd like to give your emotional intelligence a boost come along to our feature course of the fortnight, "Mastering Emotional Intelligence: What it is, why would I want some and how do I get some more" on Friday, 3rd March 2006. Click here to book, now!
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
Happy not hassled: Using meditation to manage your emotions and find contentment.
If I get ill, being able to meditate makes a huge difference to how well I cope with it and how enduring my contentment and calm is. Whether I wake in the night with stomach ache, or I hurt my foot or I have a bad cold, if I meditate well during it I find it much easier to cope with and to remain content. This CD set contains four different meditations that you can use to help you stay healthy, and to help you deal with pain and ill health. They vary in length from 6 minutes to 32 minutes so you can choose the one you want and they are all quite different so you can find the one that suits you best, click here to order now.
Bonus: If you order and pay for these CDs no later than Wednesday, 1st March 2006, then you will receive a FREE copy of the CD set to give to a friend. It's worth $45. You must order through our On-line Book and CD store to be eligible for the free copy. When you fill in the order form simply add under the comments section "A free RR copy thanks." Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes Wednesday, 1st March 2006.
5. Featured Electronic book (E-book) of the fortnight, with a free tip "A Master of Ceremonies: The beginner's guide to being a brilliant MC." HOT OFF THE PRESS TODAY.
A Master of Ceremonies: The beginner's guide to being a brilliant MC.
If you are having to be the Master of Ceremonies at a conference, wedding, seminar, concert or other event and it is fairly new to you - then this book is an essential read for you. It has four different sections covering all the ins and outs of MCing, from how to relate well to your audience or guests, to how to introduce and thank speakers or performers, and how to manage the timing correctly. There are sample introductions and thank-yous, plus checklists to help you prepare, plus tips on using a microphone - plus more ... in this packed, easy-to-read and practical guide. Don't MC without it.
Tip from the book:
Make sure the speakers can be seen and heard.
Sounds simple but it is so often not done. Audiences get very frustrated if they can't hear speakers or can't see audio-visuals. It's your job to help the audience be able to hear and see easily. Thus, for example, if your speakers are meant to be using a microphone - make sure they are using it. And make sure they have a good placement of the microphone so that they are easy to hear. Do whatever is necessary for the audience to hear the speakers or performers easily. Your job is to look after the audience. There is a whole section in the book on all the ways you can look after and help the audience so they are enthralled and enthusiastic about the event. Order your copy now on-line - click here.
6. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Rachel's Reflections reader, John Ingram, from Leicon, for this joke.
KIDS THINK FAST
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is ...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you find contentment even when you're ill.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
How else you can gain greater clarity, contentment, calm or confidence.
Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:
| How to be happy with grumpy people.
|
| Overcoming the fear of public speaking.
|
| How to make sense of other people.
|
| The Rolling Stones are still on tour at 60 - are you?
|
| How not to be defensive.
|
If you would like to have a conference or event with an energetic and entertaining speech, e-mail or call +61 8 9390 1188.
You can also attend regular public seminars in Western Australia. To be automatically kept up-to-date on future courses please e-mail us at:
Job interview training is available, make an appointment now: e-mail:
If you need to enhance your people's communication, presentation, people management or emotional intelligence skills, I can help you:
Wanting to learn in your own time?
There are three CDs, a printed book and 3 Electronic books to help you :
- "Happy not hassled: Manage your emotions, meditate and find contentment": 2 CD set, only $45.
- "How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET.": 2 CD set only $45.
- "Midlife and Happiness": A book to inspire anyone over 40. Only $34.95.
- "How to be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence": 3 CD set and booklet, only $75.
Order through our secure server on the website click here.
Also available for you immediately, our environmentally friendly E-books:
- An Electronic book: "What to do when women cry: A manual for men." 71 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website click here.
- An Electronic book: "7 fatal mistakes people make when organising conferences or seminar programmes. And how to avoid them." 58 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website: click here to order.
- An Electronic book: "A Master of Ceremonies: The beginner's guide to being a brilliant MC." 73 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website: click here.
Other free newsletters:
There are now over 175 newsletters bursting with practical tips. Click here to read them.
Tips
Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Click here to read them.
Subscribe now
If you know of anyone who might benefit from these newsletters, please send them a copy or encourage them to subscribe. Click here to subscribe - it's free!
All NEW subscribers get a FREE BONUS E-report "7 easy ways to improve your relationships". Subscribe now.
Reflections is only sent to those who have requested it. Your privacy is protected and the mailing list is never shared with anyone.
Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.
|
Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or people skills. Thank you.
|
