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How to stop feeling inadequate. Let happiness rule in 2008!

18-Dec-2007, Number 211

Written and published by Rachel Green.
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Building your self-confidence, communication skills and conversations.

Have you noticed how many advertisements set out to make us feel inadequate? They suggest that the items they are selling, whether it be homes, shavers, cars or shoes will improve us. This presumes, therefore, that we need improving. This is not the case. We are already adequate. Usually, what needs improving is our confidence. The confidence to trust ourselves, to believe in our own beauty and to know that we are worthwhile. Advertisements are wearing our confidence away. The result of this is that we shop more, we become more worried about our appearance, and we get ourselves into debt in our search to feel good about ourselves.

Read on to the tips section to find out how to feel confident and good about yourself this Christmas and New Year, without spending any money.

Welcome to our new readers from around the world, including this fortnight from Greece, UK, Pakistan, USA, India, Australia, and South Africa. Happy Christmas. The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book of his/her choice from our range, is frigden in Australia. Please contact us to claim your prize before the next newsletter.

And, this fortnight we have a special Xmas present for you - a FREE E-book.

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Tip 1. There is no such thing as perfection – therefore stop trying to be perfect.

You don't have to have hair a certain color, or a flawless skin, lots of Christmas presents, or a man or woman hanging off you, to be the perfect person. Why? Because there is no such thing as perfection. There is no person in this world who is perfect, NO-ONE. Not your mum, your priest or your celebrity film star. No-one is perfect. The advertisements are lying to you and have been lying to you for years. Advertisers simply want you to feel inadequate and pretend that perfection exists so that you will buy from them and make them rich. They have been wearing away at your confidence for years, and they have been so successful that you have started seeking something that doesn't exist, perfection. Now you know that, you can stop searching for perfection and just be yourself.

Tip 2. Say thank you for what you DO have

Often we feel inadequate because we focus on what we don't have, on what we think is missing in our lives. This only makes us feel worse. Instead, start looking around and seeing what you do have. Do you have legs that can walk or eyes that can see? Then you are one of the lucky ones. Say thank you. Do you have a roof over your head, a flushing toilet and water to drink, then you are one of the lucky ones. Say thank you. Do you have friends, or a pet, or a garden? Then you are one of the lucky ones. Say thank you. Do you have just one Christmas card or Christmas present? Then say thank you. When you focus on what you do have you will feel more confident and more adequate.

Tip 3: Confidence and beauty can also grow when we are kind and generous to others.

Being kind to people, giving them unexpected presents, doing something for them that makes their life easier – can all bring joy and help you feel more adequate. The joy does not just belong to the person receiving it but to the giver, i.e. you. So if you feel bad about yourself – go and do something kind for someone and watch the effect you have on people. Their joy can become your joy. Their confidence can become your confidence.

I will always remember one night being at a friend's place, her husband was seriously ill and she had been on an emotional roller coaster of despair for months. At the end of the night she came up and said how wonderful my blouse was – it was full of sparkling colors and was bright turquoise. I said, "Why don’t you try it on?" I took it off and she put it on. Well it fitted her perfectly and she loved it. So I said, "I want you to have it." "I can't take it from you" she protested. However, everyone rallied round and supported her in taking it – and in the end she was laughing and laughing, and I went home minus my best blouse!

What was wonderful was that I was also laughing about it for days - I was as delighted as she was. I felt so good. I had brought just a tiny ray of sunshine into her world. Did I feel good about myself? You bet! Do kind things this Christmas and New Year and it will help you to feel good about yourself. Let your confidence grow.

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3. FREE E-BOOK to ALL READERS: EXPECT MORE IN 2008.

FREE: Expect More from 2008 is an E-book with 53 pages of strategies for success from 53 leading experts in personal and professional development, including Rachel Green. It is your chance to find out what people are saying you need to do to make sure that 2008 is brilliant for you.

It is free to you, now. Happy Christmas and may your 2008 be wonderful.


To gain your Christmas gift copy, go to our On-line Book and CD store and scroll down to the bottom.

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4. Laugh your socks off.

Thanks to our Confidence 4 U reader, Angelee Deodhar in India, for this fortnight's joke. Thanks for making us laugh so much this year Angelee.

Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe Books. Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Ingredients:

1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
   
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
   
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
   
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
   
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
   
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
   
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
   
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
   
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
   
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
    

Recipe
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.

To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.

Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).

Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

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Thought for Christmas: Beauty is inside all of us and so is confidence.

May your Christmas and New Year be full of joy whatever your religion, where-ever you live and no matter what the weather!

I look forward to talking with you again in late January 2008. Watch out for some new E-books on confidence, and the confidence for women in public speaking CDs in February 2008, at the latest!
With kindness,
Rachel.

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Further information for you

Learn in your own time.

There are seven CD sets, a printed book and 6 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "Confidence for women in social situations," and the new 3rd edition of the E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.

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Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.

Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, communication, or emotions. Thank you.