Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:
- Welcome and background news.
- Top tips on how to be assertive at meetings.
- More tips on communication and assertiveness skills.
- Special offer: F.R.E.E. CD set, "Confidence for women at work".
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Welcome.
Welcome to this fortnight's Confidence 4 U; it is great to have so many new subscribers, including our first ever from Egypt and Fiji, lots of women from Mukinbudin in Western Australia and those of you from the USA, Canada, Australia, UK, South Africa and more. It's wonderful to have you with us. Please feel able to send in your requests for topics.
Assertive communication skills are an essential set of skills to have in order to succeed at work. But what do I mean by assertiveness and why do you need it? The important aspect of being assertive is the amount of RESPECT that is involved. Being assertive means that you stand up for your view-points, needs and ideas while respecting yourself and respecting others. The important point I want to make is that there is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive, and that many people confuse the two; and in their attempts to be assertive they can become aggressive.
Aggression, in comparison, does not respect others and is pushing your own point irrespective of other people's opinions, needs or feelings. For example, if someone wants to say "No", an assertive person may say, "Thanks for inviting me, I'm sorry I'm not able to accept". An aggressive person might say "No way, I'm not doing that". For more ideas on how to be assertive at meetings read on to the tips section.
The winner this week of a F.R.E.E. E-book from our range is mooncsingh from Fiji. Please contact us no later than Saturday 17th May 2008 to collect your prize:
I am very excited this fortnight to finally announce the launch of the last CD set in the "Confidence for Women" series. It's been 15 months in the making and now "Confidence for women at work" is available. It features seven Australian women talking about many issues related to confidence and self-esteem in different situations at work. The situations range from networking, speaking out at meetings, saying no and sticking to it, coping with intimidation and bullying, knowing how to win the respect of your team, and more. Full details are available here: Confidence for women at work.
2. The top tips: How to be assertive at meetings.
Tip 1: Say something.
Many people I know fail to have a voice at meetings. They listen to what is said, (or switch off to what is going on), all without saying anything. A first step is to promise yourself at your next meeting that you will say something, anything! It may simply be, "I think John's idea is a good one", or "Yes! I agree", or "We have similar concerns in our department". In other words, the first step is to let people hear your voice. Don't leave a meeting without speaking.
Tip 2. Give yourself a time limit.
Before you go to a meeting set yourself a goal and determine how soon you will speak. Are you going to make sure you have contributed to a meeting within the first hour, the first 30 minutes or within 5 minutes of starting? Decide in advance. When you set yourself a goal like this, make yourself do it. Whether you are going to ask a question, agree, disagree or add new information, give yourself a target to achieve. Meetings can be fun!
Tip 3. Read the agenda in advance.
Know in advance what a meeting is about and go through in your mind what kind of comments you could make on each agenda item. Give yourself thinking time, before the meeting. Make sure you have something to say.
Tip 4. Write out your ideas in advance.
If you feel at all intimidated in a meeting, or you are concerned that you may forget what you want to say, write out your points in advance and take them into the meeting with you. You don't need to do this long-hand, it may just be key points or phrases to remind you of what to say. What matters is that your notes are easy to read when you are in the meetings. By writing out your ideas in advance you can be confident you won't forget your point even if you are nervous.
Tip 5. Keep talking.
When you are making a point and someone interrupts you, don't take this as a sign that you must stop. People get interrupted at meetings all the time, some back down and stop and allow themselves to be crushed by an interruption. Others, in contrast, learn to ride the interruption and continue once the other person has spoken. Some are even more assertive and say things such as, "If I may finish my point....".
When people interrupt you presume it is because they are excited by your idea and that they want to find out more, or that they wish to give you the opportunity to sell your idea and convince people of its value. Just because you are interrupted you don't have to back down.
3. Further tips on communication and assertiveness skills.
Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
Click on the links to read two of the newest ones:
- Five tips on how to speak out at meetings.
- Five tips on how to communicate assertively at meetings.
4. More ways to have confidence and skills at work.
Have you ever felt invisible at work, or not been heard or respected? Do you find it hard to speak out at meetings; to stand up to difficult bosses or customers; or to manage a team of people you supervise or work with? Maybe you are already confident and simply want to polish your skills even more so you can shine in board or team meetings, bask in the rewards you earn and get the credit you deserve. Whatever your situation, age or background there is something for every woman in the workforce on the Confidence for women at work CDs.
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Wednesday, 14th May 2008, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for F.R.E.E. worth $49. Give them to a friend and help them too.
To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, 14th May 2008. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Shaun Peter Kelly for this fortnight's joke.
MENOPAUSE JEWELLERY.
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you have a voice at meetings and gain the respect you deserve.
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are nine CD sets, a printed book and 6 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "CONFIDENCE for women at work," and the 3rd edition of the E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, relationships, managing people, communication, workskills or emotions. Thank you.
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