Written and published by Rachel Green.
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In this edition:
- Welcome and background news.
- Top tips on how to keep love alive in your relationship.
- More tips on relationships, happiness and confidence.
- S.P.E.C.I.A.L. offer: f.r.e.e. CD set, "A successful marriage".
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Welcome.
Living together isn't as easy as all the romantic novels and fairy tale stories would have us believe, is it? We all know, only too well, that not everyone lives happily ever after. In fact with the current divorce rates, at least a third, if not a half, of all marriages end in divorce. Yet couples can live together for a long time AND BE HAPPY. Even when they are different. You just need to know what to do.
Would you like to have a long and happy marriage or relationship? Would you like your problems to lessen and your love to increase? Are you married or in a relationship and finding it isn't what it was cracked up to be? Would you like to save yourself the cost of a divorce? You can.
Read on to the tips section to get some top tips on relationships and marriage.
Welcome to all our new readers from around the world, including this fortnight, for the first time ever, someone from Vietnam. Welcome!
The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book from our range, is "The Hoppies". If this is you, please contact us to claim your prize by Saturday 3rd May April 2008:
Great news, the final CD set and interviews in the amazing “Confidence for women” series “Confidence for women at work” will be released on May 12th and launched at a free public talk I will be giving in Bunbury, Western Australia on Tuesday evening, May 13th 2008.
2. The tips: How to keep love alive in your relationship.
Tip 1: If you want more love - give more love.
The choice is yours – are you going to wait to receive love before you give love, or to give love and affection, praise and kindness anyway? Love is not like spending money. When you spend money it is gone forever. When you give love then you receive love back and your own love stocks and shares increase. Don’t hold back, be generous, affectionate and loving to those you live with. If you want more love - give more love.
Tip 2. If you want more love then be realistic in your expectations.
None of us is perfect. This means that you aren’t and your spouse or partner isn’t. This means all of us make errors, say things that are not kind, fail to meet other people’s expectations, and make a mess of aspects of our relationships. What does this mean for you in your search for a happy relationship? It means be realistic in your expectations of your partner. There are no shining knights in armour who are perfect princes. There are no beautiful perfect princesses. If there were they wouldn’t marry us anyway because we’re not perfect! If you want more love then be realistic in your expectations.
Tip 3. If you want a happier relationship then focus on the positives.
A woman came up to me recently at a workshop wanting advice on what to do with half of her family, including her husband. When I enquired what was wrong, she said, “I am positive and he is negative. How can I get him to be positive?” “In what way is he negative?” I asked. “Well if I suggest something he sees everything that may go wrong with it.”
“How wonderfully practical” I said, “he could save you from making a bad mistake, or help you to do even better than you would have done on your own.”
She looked disappointed, as I wasn’t supporting her idea that he should change. I continued, “Have you asked him why he gives you a practical run-down on your ideas? He may see this as helping you and that he is saving you from having problems. He may be doing it because he loves you.”
“But all I want is harmony”, she said. "Well, maybe you need to allow him to do things his way and you will have more harmony. If you stop finding fault in him and focus on his strengths you may notice how useful he is being. If you stop trying to make him the same as you then you may find much greater happiness together. He is probably a good bloke just as you are good woman. As a “positive person” focus on his positives, and watch what happens.”
Trying to make our partners the same as us does not lead to happiness or increase love. Learning to live with someone’s differences does. If you want a happier relationship then focus on the positives.
Tip 4. If you want something in your relationship then explain why.
It is very easy in a relationship to take things for granted. It is also very easy to think that other people are automatically on your wavelength and therefore can know what your needs are. Sorry to tell you but others are not automatically on your wavelength. Guess whose wavelengths they are on? Their own! This may mean that you need to do far more explaining than you ever thought was necessary in a relationship. Don't assume they know. This can lead to great disappointment, misunderstanding and frustration.
You might tell them what you like and why you like it. You may explain why something is important to you. You may need to explain how you like love or affection to be expressed, how important it is that you do things together, or why you are doing something. Explaining is very important. Even something as simple as why you like to sit and talk to your partner, why you like to be silent with him or her, or why you want a hug, may all be useful. Be willing to explain. Help your partner understand you. Don't just wait for them to work it out or to know, as if by magic. Make it easy for them.
Tip 5. If you want to be together more then make your relationship a priority and invest time in it.
How much time do you put into your relationship? Do you spend quality time together? Do you plan special moments? Do you make each other a priority over work, home, making money, television, the computer, and the kids?
The amount of time the average couple spends talking together is appallingly low. Invest time in each other if you want the relationship to stay happy and healthy, and I mean on your own. Make time together, plan time together, and see time together as an investment in your happiness.
3. More tips on relationships, happiness and confidence.
Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
There are several sets on relationships and boosting your confidence for you to read. Click on the links to read three of the newest ones:
- Practical marriage advice on how to have a happier marriage.
- Five Ways to stop yourself from being upset by difficult people.
- Ten Tips for balancing your family and work responsibilities.
4. More ways to have a lasting and happy relationship.
"A successful marriage: How to have a long and happy marriage and overcome the problems," by Rachel and Mike Green.
Would you like more ideas on having a long and happy marriage/relationship? Would you like some practical ways to lessen your differences and increase your love? You can. Amidst all the failed celebrity marriages we see, and the marriage advice that is too theoretical to apply, here is something different, something you can trust. Mike and I have been brave enough to invite you behind the scenes of our 33 year marriage to hear an unscripted conversation about what makes it work and what we get up to. And it isn't necessarily what you'd expect! It's a real view, of a real marriage as it's never been heard before. The CD set will give you plenty for you and your partner/spouse to talk about so you can find ways to have more love in your marriage. This is a unique, frank and intimate CD series. It's not theory, its not celebrity, its not make-believe – it's a real view, of a real marriage as it's never been heard before. At times funny, at others heartfelt, but always sincere - this is marriage advice you can use and apply to your relationship - whether marriage or defacto.
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Wednesday 30th April 2008, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for F.R.E.E. worth $55. Give them to your partner so you both have a copy or give them to a friend and help them too.
To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Wednesday 30th April 2008. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Shaun Peter Kelly for this fortnight's joke.
Looks of Disappointment.
A man was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."
She looked disappointed and asked, "What happened to beautiful?"
The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
Love is a gift. Treasure it, nurture it and be grateful for it. May your love flourish.
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are eight CD sets, a printed book and 6 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "CONFIDENCE for women in PUBLIC SPEAKING," and the new 3rd edition of the E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, relationships, marriage, managing people, communication or emotions. Thank you.
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