Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:
- Welcome and breaking news on a public course.
- Top tips on how to break into groups and introduce yourself.
- More tips on making good conversations and introducing yourself.
- Special offer: F.R.E.E. CD set, "Be a winner at dinner: How to chat and network with confidence and skill": Buy one, get one F.R.E.E.
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Welcome.
Christmas is a big social event for many people and most of us get invited to a round of work functions, social activities and Christmas parties. But meeting people at these events isn't always easy, especially if they are new people. In fact, you may well have asked yourself, "How do I introduce myself?" or "How can I break into groups of strangers?" If so, this newsletter is for you - as it will be devoted to letting you know how to break into groups, introduce yourself and start conversations. Read on to the tips section to find out how to successfully do this.
Welcome to all our new readers from around the world, including this fortnight 72 new readers from Nigeria, Australia, USA, New Zealand and the UK.
The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book from our range, is merrynt from Australia. If this is you, please contact us to claim your prize by Saturday, 8th November 2008:
Breaking News: For those of you living in Western Australia I am conducting a rare public speech and public workshop on "Confidence for women" in Perth in January 2009. These will be part of UWA's Summer School programme. Here are the details:
 | SPEECH: "Yes! I can do it: Steps for sparkling with confidence each day every day". FRIDAY January 30th 2009, 7pm - 9pm. All welcome. Bookings: 6488 2433 or enrol with UWA online.
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| WORKSHOP: "Stepping out with confidence: Each day, every day." Saturday 31st January 2009, 10am - 4pm. Limited to 50. Discount for those going to both. Bookings: 6488 2433 or enrol with UWA online.
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2. The TOP TIPS: How to break into groups and introduce yourself.
Tip 1: Look for groups that are easy to break in to.
Look for groups that are easy to break in to, for example,
those not standing closely together and with spaces between the people, and who are not leaning in.
Other good body language signs to look for are people looking bored, people who are standing on the edge of the group just listening but not being involved, and people who are all huddled together from the same place of work. People may huddle together simply because they don’t know anyone else.
Do not try to break into very close-knit groups who are in intense discussions, leaning inwards and where there are no spaces between the people, unless you are very confident or brave!
Tip 2. Find the easiest place to enter and fade in.
Fade into a space in the group. For example, where two people are not standing very close together and there is a space walk into it. Or
walk between, or next to, two people who are passive members of the group.
By fade in I mean, walk up to the space (confidently without lurking!) and simply stand there quietly until someone in the group acknowledges you. Once someone looks at you and gains eye contact you are in and accepted. At this point you may simply smile back or introduce yourself or join in the conversation, whatever seems most appropriate at the time. Usually someone will look at you within 30-60 secs. Honestly, it can be that easy. You don't have to make a big deal of joining a group, and there is no need to take over the group, simply to blend in and become a part of it. People fade in and out all the time.
If no-one looks at you, you can always fade away again and find a more receptive group!
Tip 3. Ask permission to join.
If you feel awkward fading in to a group of strangers without saying anything, you might like to ask permission to join. An example introduction might be, “Hi, I’m Angelique from the Post Office, mind if I join you?” Or another example of introducing yourself might be to explain that you are new or don’t know anyone, “Hi, I’m John, this is the first conference I’ve been to, may I join you?”
This is very easy to do and very socially acceptable. People are not likely to say, "No, go away" are they? (Unless they are drunk or rude in which case you may not want to stay around anyway.)
Tip 4. Say something useful about the people in the group.
If you feel that everyone is looking at you and you want to say something straight away, you might use an easy line of introduction which involves a comment about the group.
For example, you might make a socially positive comment such as, “You look to be having a great time over here ... may I join you?” or “This looks like a really important group of people to get to know ... may I join you?”
You can say more if you like and tag on the information you know about the group. For example, “I hear you all went to school with Anna, the beautiful bride, what was she like? I work with her.”
Or, “I hear you’re the people from Murdoch University who are doing the exciting research on environmental pollution, I’ve been wanting to meet you because ...”
Tip 5. Listen and join in the topic of conversation.
There are several ways to become a part of the group and join in conversation - there is no rule that you must do it one way.
For example, you might simply listen to the conversation and then join in with your own comments on the topic under discussion. Thus they may be talking about Facebook, so you join in with a comment about your own experiences on Facebook or other web-based social networking groups you belong to.
Or they are talking about social anxiety and you happen to know the value of meditation in reducing anxiety and tell them how it has helped you.
Tip 6. TALK!
There are many different techniques for joining in conversations and talking with multiple people.
It is often easier to join in if you stay in a small group. Groups of more than four will usually have a number of passive people in them. Don’t be one of them!
Two ways to contribute to the conversation are to join in the existing topic, or to introduce a new topic. For instance, you might ask their opinion on something, e.g. “I was fascinated by what Robert had to say in his presentation about population growth, what were your reactions?”
You can talk to different people in the group – you don’t have to only talk to the leader. If you are near other people who are not saying much in the group you may start talking to them – you may then, if you establish a conversation with them, drift away from the original group and make your own group.
Just a final tip on body language and eye contact in a group setting - look at everyone and not just the person you are talking to – involve everyone. Do not turn your back on people or exclude them.
3. More tips on how to make easy conversations and introduce yourself.
Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
There are several sets on conversations and networking for you to read. Click on the links to read three of the newest ones:
- Ten tips for making good conversations at Christmas.
- Ten Tips for the art of conversation and small talk when networking.
- Ten tips on introducing yourself and networking even if you are shy.
4. More ways to have self confidence talking to people and making conversations.
"Be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence and skill.
This is the ultimate help on making small talk and conversations. If you've ever run out of things to say, you've found it hard to introduce yourself to people, or people don't open up to you, then take hope! These 3 CDs give you the essential tips to overcome all these problems.
Whether it's a friend's party, a cocktail party, business function, family celebration, networking event or social, you'll learn how to introduce yourself, how to have lots of different topics to talk about, what kinds of questions work best, how to get people to open up to you, how to respond to people well, how to interrupt people politely, how to change topics and how to exit politely. Never be lost for words again.
I have personally used and developed all the strategies on these CDs, so I know they work. In addition, you get to hear examples of good conversations, by listening to the eight people I took into the recording studio with me. I also answer their questions about conversations, and they are the kinds of questions you might also be asking.
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Saturday, 8th November 2008, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for F.R.E.E. worth $75.00. Give them to a friend for Christmas and help them too.
To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Saturday, 8th November 2008. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May all your Christmas parties and events be enjoyable.
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are eight CD sets, a printed book and 5 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "CONFIDENCE for women at work," and the very popular E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, relationships, people skills, work, communication or emotions. Thank you.
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