This magazine keeps you up-to-date with the best in communication, confidence and emotional intelligence, and gives you practical, easy-to-follow tips to help you be your best. You are welcome to forward this newsletter to your colleagues, family and friends.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:
- Welcome and background news.
- Top tips on how not to feel anxious.
- More tips on coping with anxiety.
- Special offer: F.R.E.E. DVD when you purchase the CD set, "Happy not hassled".
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Welcome.
I was driving to the hairdresser last week, quite content that all was well. When I arrived I discovered my wallet was missing. What was I to do? Go into a panic? Stress about it all day? Cancel the rest of my day and drive the hour back home again?
These were certainly all options. However, I had a particularly busy day and tight schedule. I quickly retraced my steps since I last saw it. I phoned the recording studio I'd been in the previous day but it wasn't there. Then I phoned my office, no, it wasn't there. I called my husband and he hadn't seen it either.
Okay, I thought, I can't do anything more until I get home tonight, ten hours later. I'll just wait. And that was it. No anxiety, no further worry. I knew that until I was able to check at home I couldn't find out whether I'd left it there or not. I could do no more. I sat relaxed in the hairdressers and chatted away.
Why do I tell you this? Because it struck me how much I'd changed. In the past I'd have been driven with anxiety all day. My heart would have been pounding. I'd have felt an urgency to search everywhere. And my mind would have been frantically imagining all the worse case scenarios associated with it, such as, "Had it been stolen?", "What would people do with my credit cards?", how awful it would be, and so on. My anxiety would have built across the day. However, today I was different.
Given the current economic gloom and doom, with bad news everyday, there is constant fuel for anxiety and the potential to have our self-confidence die on us. I thought, therefore that it's a good time to give some tips on how not to get anxious. Read on to the tips section to find out.
Welcome to all our 102 new readers from around the world, including this fortnight from the UK, India, Canada, South Korea, Australia and the USA.
The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book from our range, is malcom.jenkinson, from Australia. If this is you, please contact us to claim your prize by Saturday, 28th March 2009:
By the way, I belong to a number of social networking groups. Please join me:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com
Find me with my email address
Twitter: http://twitter.com/ConfidentWoman
I have met some wonderful people through Facebook and am building my Twitter profile and hope to add on lots of information and quotes.
2. The TOP TIPS: How not to feel anxious.
Tip 1: Spend your time in the present moment.
Focus on what is happening right now rather than worrying about what may happen. The future is uncertain, that is certain! What it contains is conjecture. The present moment may actually be quite lovely.
For example, instead of worrying about what may have happened to my wallet I focused on the delightful sensations of having my head massaged as my hair was being washed. Then I engaged fully in conversation with my hairdresser who is delightful; and then I enjoyed having my hair cut. I like going to the hairdresser. Therefore, it seemed best to enjoy it, instead of focusing on wild imaginings about what may have happened to my wallet.
Stay in the present moment. There is far less anxiety there than in the future.
Tip 2. If you cannot do anything, do nothing.
I realised that there was nothing I could do for another ten hours to find out if I had accidentally left my wallet at home or whether it had been stolen. Therefore, I had two choices. First, to worry, or second, to do nothing until I could do something. Thus, I decided to do nothing! There was nothing helpful to do, so why worry? It's a waste of good life. Are you wasting your life feeling anxious about things you have no control over?
Tip 3. Ask if the anxiety is being helpful, or not.
Sometimes anxiety is helpful, sometimes it is destructive. Ask yourself, "Is this anxiety helpful?". If it is keep it. How can anxiety be helpful? For instance, I find a little bit of anxiety is good at helping me to get to places on time. I have never missed a plane or train because of it! Thus, under these circumstances, anxiety is helpful.
In the situation of my wallet it was destructive. Thus, I did not engage with it. Do not feed your anxiety if all it does is wind you up without any positive benefits. Only keep it there if it is helping you.
Tip 4. Meditate to clear your mind.
When people practise meditation, the medical and psychological literature now clearly show that meditation can lessen and stop anxiety (and depression).
I spend some time, most days, meditating. I find it clears my mind of all the negative mind dirt that I can pick up during a day. It has also been instrumental in reducing my potential to develop and bring up anxiety. Calmness is now far more my habit instead of anxiety, I am happy to say. It was my meditation that allowed me not to worry about my wallet. If you have anxiety, do what you can to manage and reduce it – it is worth the work and time invested.
As for my wallet, at about 11pm that night I returned home to find it on the floor next to my bed. I am very pleased I didn't waste my day being anxious about it, as then I would have failed to enjoy what was a gorgeous day.
3. More tips on coping with anxiety.
Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
There are several sets on personal development for you to read. Click on the links to read three of the newest ones:
- Ten tips on managing anxiety in an emotionally intelligent way.
- Ten tips on how to overcome panic attacks.
- Ten tips on using meditation to reduce tension.
4. More ways to reduce anxiety and relax.
"Happy not hassled."
If you have felt anxious and wish for calm, these CDs, "Happy Not Hassled", have been designed to help you.
All you need is a little bit of your time and the willingness to try the exercises and you'll discover how to stay calm and peaceful. Bliss!
I also explain how to use the meditations in your everyday life so you are confident you know how to use them.
Get these "Happy Not Hassled" CDs and feel good about yourself, stay calm, and be at ease in a potentially negative and stressful world.
I use every one of these meditations to help me stop anxiety and stress from building.
PLUS, as a special BONUS. when you buy the CDs no later than Sunday, 29th March 2009 you will receive F.R.E.E. a one hour, full colour DVD of a live public talk I gave on: "How to use meditation to manage anxiety and pain". NEW!
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to our Confidence 4 U reader, Angelee Deodhar, from India, for this fortnight's joke.
The hairdryer.
A distinguished young woman travelling to Australia asked the Priest beside her if he could do her a favour.
"Of course, child, what may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hairdryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the customs limits, and I am afraid they will confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With an honest face like yours, Father, no one will question you"
When they got to customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked the priest, "Father do you have anything to declare."
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The officer thought this answer was strange, so he asked, "and what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the officer said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you find peace and calm. Whatever the future holds, enjoy each day while you have it.
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are eight CD sets, a printed book and 5 Electronic books to help you, including the 3 CD sets on "CONFIDENCE for women," and the very popular E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, relationships, presentations, managing people, interpersonal skills, work, health, communication or emotions. Thank you.
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