COMMUNICATE

Communication Confidence: Stop saying "I guess".

11-Jun-2009, Number 240

This magazine keeps you up-to-date with the best in public speaking, communication, confidence and emotional intelligence. In this edition you'll find practical, easy-to-follow tips to help you develop communication confidence. You are welcome to forward this newsletter to your colleagues, family and friends.

Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:

1. The background: When you need to watch what you say. Plus the latest news.
   
2. Top tips on how to develop communication confidence.
3. More tips on confident communication.
4. Special offer: F.R.E.E. CD set, "Confidence for women at work": Buy one get one F.R.E.E.
5. Laugh your socks off.
   

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1. Background.

Time and again I hear both men and women undermining what they say. Instead of having confident communication, they sound hesitant and unsure of themselves. This can happen even when they do know what they are saying.

Sounding confident when you communicate matters, whether it is in meetings, job or media interviews, or in talking to your in-laws.

There are some very simple steps you can take to develop communication confidence. Watching what you say is a key step in this. There are certain words and phrases to avoid and others to include. What are these? Read on to the tips section to find out, and to get your practical tips on how to sound confident when you talk to people.

Our News.

I am on my way to Mukinbudin, in the Wheatbelt in WA. Yes! I am giving a series of three talks/workshops there on 19th, 20th and 21st June 2009, please come along, if you can. It is a rare opportunity to attend a public talk with me. They are open to the whole community. Friday night is on Building confidence, so is Saturday, and Sunday is on meditation and stress management. It is only $10.00 to attend - that's one huge bargain! Come relax with me in Mukinbudin!

Welcome new readers.

Welcome to you if you are one of our new readers from around the world, this fortnight. We have new readers in Australia, Finland, Indonesia, and more.

Competition winner.

The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book from our range, is Feliz Win from Indonesia. If this is you, please contact us to claim your E-book prize by Sunday 14th June 2009:

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2. The TOP TIPS: How to develop communication confidence.

Tip 1: Watch what you say.

The first step in conveying confidence when you communicate is to have self-awareness. Be aware of what you are saying. Without this you will not progress.

When you speak listen out for the types of words you use. Listen out for words or phrases that you use repeatedly, such as "you know." Be careful to monitor your speech for any words or phrases that may sound as though you are doubtful or unsure of yourself.

If you don’t monitor what you say, how can you know how you are being perceived? Switch on your voice recorder and listen back to yourself speaking. Hear what everyone else hears when you speak. Do you sound confident or uncertain?

Tip 2. Do not start a sentence with "I guess".

Why on earth do people say "I guess"? Have you noticed people doing it? Do you say "I guess"? Don’t. When you answer a question in a job interview, a meeting or a media interview with the phrase, "I guess ..." what impression do you think it gives?



It tells people that you are unsure about what you are saying. It suggests that the words that follow "I guess ..." have been pulled out of thin air and are nothing more than mere conjecture.

I heard a well qualified researcher talking about her work on the radio recently. She was asked about the results of her research. She began by saying, "I guess ... the results show ...".

Excuse me! Did she not know her own research and was simply guessing about the results? Surely she was not guessing? Surely she knew more than anyone else what her results showed? She knew. Her statement, "I guess ..." was a silly speech habit she had picked up. Sadly, it made her results seem less significant and herself unsure. Don’t let "I guess..." undermine your credibility or the perception people have of you. She did.

If you want to develop communication confidence stop saying "I guess." Start your sentences without it.

Tip 3. Do not say, "I suppose so...".

There are many phrases that can make you sound timid and unassertive. "I suppose ..." is another of them. It isn’t as common as "I guess..." but people certainly use it even when they fully understand a piece of information or have all the relevant facts.

For example, imagine you are presenting a report at a meeting. The chairperson asks if you have covered all the relevant areas in your report. You reply, "I suppose so, yes ...". What impression is left with the Chairperson and the others at the meeting? The impression you leave is that you are unsure whether you have covered them all or not.

If you want to develop communication confidence stop saying "I suppose." Start your sentences with Yes! "Yes, the report does cover all the relevant areas".

Tip 4. When you say, "I think ..." it can reduce the value of your message.

"I think ..." is another phrase that undermines the substance of your communication. How could such an innocent phrase make a difference? It does.

Imagine you are in a job interview. The panel is trying to establish whether you are the best person for the job. They need to get a clear message from you that you are competent and that you are confident you can do the job well.

They ask you a question, such as: "Are you confident that your skills can be transferred to this position?" You answer "Yes, I think I'm confident." Opps! That little phrase has crept in and just knocked back what you wanted to convey. "I think ..." suggests doubt. Without "I think ..." confidence is conveyed. "Yes, I am confident" is far stronger and convincing than "Yes, I think I am confident."

If you want to develop communication confidence stop saying, "I think ..." when making a statement. Instead, simply make the statement as if it is fact, "Yes, I can", not "Yes, I think I can."

Tip 5. When you say, "I believe so ..." it can isolate you.

Here is one last example of phrases that can make you sound unconfident when you talk to people: "I believe so ...". This is similar to "I think ..." but not identical to it. What do you think it suggests when you say it?

The meaning it conveys will party depend on the inflections you use when saying it, and on the context you are speaking in. However, often it can sound as though what you are saying is merely a belief you have, and it is not founded upon facts or reliable data. People have beliefs without any foundation. Beliefs can also be prejudices. A belief is not necessarily held by more than one person. In other words, you may be the only person in the world to believe it.

Therefore, if you are asked, by me, as your boss, whether you deserve a pay rise, or not, how will "I believe so ..." impact on the impression you leave? If you say, "I believe so ..." then I would want to know if anyone else agreed with you or not. Just because you believe it to be the case, does not mean that anyone else agrees with you. You put doubt in my mind.

If you want to develop communication confidence stop saying "I believe ...". Instead, simply make the statement as if it is fact, "Yes, I do deserve a pay rise".

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3. More tips on confident communication.

Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.

There are several sets on confident communication for you to read. Click on the links to read three of the newest ones:

1. How to sound confident when public speaking.
   
2. CONFIDENCE - Ten steps for developing more confidence in everyday life, by Rachel Green.
   
3. Ten tips for the art of conversation and small talk when networking.
   

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4. More ways to have communication confidence.

"Confidence and communication skills for women at work".

Communicate with confidence at work. Do not undermine yourself. Learn all the top tips for communication confidence, at work, on these CDs.

The inspiring women on these CDs and the practical strategies they suggest will help you take back your power and be assertive in a variety of situations. This includes meetings, interviews, and handling difficult people. Communicate with confidence. Boost your communication, people management and confidence skills now.

Click here for more details.
Click here to order.

Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Sunday 14th June 2009, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for F.R.E.E. worth $49. Give them to a friend and help them too.

To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Sunday 14th June 2009. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.

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5. Laugh your socks off.

Thanks to Eric Williams, in Perth, for this fortnight's joke.

Childbirth at 65.

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

"May I see the new baby?' I asked.

"Not yet"' She said "I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, "May I see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

"WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. "Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?"

"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?"

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

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Adopt a confident communication style and leave a great impression. Sound certain. Sound credible. Sound confident.

If you find it hard to sound confident in a job interview, but want to get a promotion, I do offer a limited number of personalised, one-on-one, job interview coaching sessions if you are in Western Australia; and job interview coaching sessions over the phone/Skype from anywhere in the world. Please contact me, or visit the coaching page on the website.

Be your best,

With kindness,
Rachel.

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Further information for you

Learn in your own time.

There are eight CD sets, a printed book and 5 Electronic books to help you, including the 3 CD sets on "CONFIDENCE for women," and the very popular E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.

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Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.

Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, relationships, presentations, managing people, job interviews, interpersonal skills, work, health, communication or emotions. Thank you.

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