This magazine keeps you up-to-date with the best in good communication skills, emotional intelligence and public speaking. In this edition you'll find practical, easy-to-follow tips to help you develop mindfulness and good communication skills. You are welcome to forward this newsletter to your colleagues, family and friends.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:
- The relationship between mindfulness and good communication skills, plus BRAND NEW WEBSITE ON SELF-CONFIDENCE.
- Top tips on how to develop mindfulness and good communication skills.
- More tips on .
- Special offer: F.R.E.E. CD set, "Happy not hassled": Buy one get one F.R.E.E. PLUS Bonus F.R.E.E. DVD. Only available until Wednesday 21st October 2009.
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Background.
Last year I went on a course on mindfulness based cognitive therapy (MBCT). MBCT is increasingly becoming a proven technique to overcome depression and anxiety. I have also been practising mindfulness meditation for years and finding it of great value for my own well-being.
However, mindfulness also helps in developing good communication skills. And good communication skills are important at work and in relationships.
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is a heightened state of self-awareness. It is also a heightened state of focus and concentration and is associated with a calmness of mind. Mindfulness can be grounding and self-soothing. All of these features can help with your communication. How? Read on to the tips section to find out.
There are also exercises you can do to develop more mindfulness. Some of these mindfulness exercises will be covered in the tips section too.
BIG NEWS - BRAND NEW WEBSITE DEVOTED TO SELF-CONFIDENCE.
This is the most important news I have had for years. After ten months of development this week I have launched a brand new website. It is devoted EXCLUSIVELY to helping you build and maintain your self-confidence and self-esteem across everything you do in the whole of your life. You might be a corporate leader, a university student or a mum at home; there is something for you.
It is very comprehensive already and more will be added daily. And it is INTERACTIVE. There are forums, polls, over 44 brand new articles (so far!), special areas to ask other people about your confidence issues, stories of inspiring women and their journeys with confidence, a quiz to test your self-confidence levels, CDS, books, speeches and even Confident Woman T-shirts, AND a brand new FREE e-book not available elsewhere. You can add your comments, ideas and questions on each of the articles. And be answered!
Go here to see it: http://www.confident-woman.com.au
It is targetted specifically at women in Australia and has unique Australian content. However, of course, men and women from around the world are all welcome.
(By the way, this is not replacing the RachelGreen.Com website, this is in addition to it, both are continuing.)
Wowwee! I am so excited about this and Mike Edwards from Treble 7 is acknowledged for his brilliant expertise in working along side me for the whole 10 months, turning my vague notions into reality. We are still working on it and adding to it so any feedback and requests are welcome. For now get reading! Do not miss out! You can even vote in the Confident Woman of the Year awards 2009. Go here to see it: http://www.confident-woman.com.au
You can all win a free E-book today. There is no usual single prize, everyone gets one to celebrate the new launch.
Go here to get your free E-Book: http://www.confident-woman.com.au
2. The TOP TIPS: How to develop mindfulness and good communication skills.
Tip 1: Develop mindfulness each day.
Mindfulness is not something that happens overnight with one mindfulness exercise. It is something that only develops with regular practice.
Good communication skills do not develop overnight either or by attending one course. They too require practice.
Thus, the first step is to be willing to put some time aside each day for mindfulness practice.
What can you do in that time? One very simple step is to sit quietly and simply pay attention to your thoughts. What exactly are you thinking? What is running through your mind? What are you saying to yourself about your day, yourself, the situation you are in, the people you have met, or the conversation you will have tomorrow? Start to become aware of your thoughts.
Why would you do this if you want to develop good communication skills? Your thoughts have an enormous impact on what you say, what you do and how you communicate with people. For example, if you are thinking that people at work are mean you are likely to communicate with them in one way, if you think they are kind you will communicate with them differently. What are you thinking about each of the people you will talk to today? How might this influence what you say?
Tip 2. Mindfulness exercises can show you that your thoughts are not true.
If our thoughts influence how we communicate what happens if our thinking is out of balance, or wrong or distorted? It means that our communication is likely to be wrong, out of balance or distorted too.
For example, just because you think, "Jonty is selfish" does not mean that Jonty is selfish. Similarly just because you think " Frances fancies me " does not mean that Frances fancies you. Similarly simply because you think, "I was passed over for promotion because David does not like me" does not mean it is true.
A second mindfulness exercise you can practise is writing down your thoughts in a journal. Once you have done this challenge the thoughts. Ask yourself, "What evidence do I have for this?" "How do I know this is true?" "What other interpretations are there?"
My experience is that my initial thoughts, when challenged, can be covering up other intentions, issues and possibilities that are hidden beneath an initial layer of superficiality. By checking my thoughts and finding the best interpretation of a situation I have a far better chance of having good communication skills. I am less likely to accuse people of something they have not done. I am less likely to be peeved. I am less likely to say the wrong thing.
Tip 3. Mindfulness exercises can help you know how you are feeling.
Good communication skills rely not just on accurate thinking but on self-awareness of how you are feeling.
For example, if you are hurt and do not realise it you may say something spiteful that you later regret. If you are frustrated and are not aware of it you may become impatient with a client, colleague or customer even though they may not have contributed to your frustration. If you are feeling vulnerable, insecure or inadequate and do not realise it you may communicate in a way that is defensive or aggressive.
By practising mindfulness your awareness of how you feel can be enhanced. The more self-awareness you have of how you feel the better the chance you have to use good communication skills. Good communication skills arise when your communication is based on a sound understanding of how you feel and why you feel what you do.
A third mindfulness exercise you can practise is to stop for one minute each hour and ask yourself "How am I feeling right now?" This can get you into the habit of being aware of your feelings, not just when you fall into bed at night exhausted but as you go through your day. The advantage of this is that you can catch unhelpful feelings as they arise. Then you have a greater chance of turning them around before they damage your communication, your customer interactions or your relationships.
When people are not mindful they can get very frustrated, defensive or irritated by what others do, whether they be customers, clients or colleagues. I conduct a special seminar on "How to keep your cool even with difficult, negative or angry people." This can help you and your staff to manage even the most difficult people calmly, so you leave a positive impression of your organisation. To book me to come into your organisation or speak at your conference, e-mail me at:
3. More tips on mindfulness and good communication skills.
Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
There are several sets on meditation and communication for you to read. Click on the links to read three of them:
- How to meditate to reduce tension: Ten tips.
- Loving-kindness (metta) meditation.
- Ten tips for becoming a skilled communicator .
4. More ways to develop mindfulness and a calm mind.
"Happy not hassled."
I have found mindfulness meditation incredibly useful. It helps me to stay calm and be aware of how I am thinking and feeling in each moment so I can use good communication skills as often as possible. I have been practising mindfulness meditation, on and off, for over 21 years.
There is now mounting scientific evidence for the value of mindfulness meditation. Not only can it help you manage your emotions, reduce episodes of anxiety and depression but also promote health and well-being. (If you want to read more about the research do a search for Professor Richard Davidson and read some of his findings into mindfulness meditation.)
You can now practise mindfulness meditation at home. These two CDs provide you with four expert meditations to help you develop mindfulness. These are the ones I have been using for a long time. I have tried them and tested them and know they work. I personally talk you through each one.
I have also included a discussion of how to use them in your daily life and how they can help you manage your emotions (and thus enhance your use of good communication skills).
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
PLUS, as a special BONUS when you buy the CDs no later than Wednesday, 21st October 2009 you will receive F.R.E.E. a one hour, full colour DVD of a live public talk I gave on: "How to use meditation to manage anxiety and pain", PLUS a SECOND copy of the CDs absolutely F.R.E.E. to give to a friend.
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Do not miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Wednesday 21st October 2009. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Mike Pez, from Perth, for this fortnight's joke.
An "Oh dear" moment.
His request approved, the ABC News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go."
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I am a photographer for ABC News," he responded, "and I need to get some close-up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment. Finally he stammered, "So, what you are telling me is ... you are NOT my flight instructor?"
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to:
May your mindfulness increase and good communication skills come easily to you.
Be your best,
With kindness, until next fortnight
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are eight CD sets, a printed book and seven Electronic books to help you, including the 3 CD sets on "Confidence for women," and the NEW E-book "Overcome your fear of public speaking - forever." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, relationships, presentations, managing people, interpersonal skills, work, health or communication. Thank you.
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