This magazine keeps you up-to-date with the best in good communication skills, emotional intelligence and personality types. In this edition you'll learn about emotional intelligence at work in an interview I had with Father Christmas. You are welcome to forward this newsletter to your colleagues, family and friends.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
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In this edition:
- NEWS! Next live webinar.
- The top tips: Does Father Christmas have emotional intelligence at work?
- Emotional Intelligence at work this Christmas.
- Emotional Intelligence CD - two for the p.r.i.c.e of one.
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Background.
Emotional intelligence might seem like a heavy topic for Christmas but Father Christmas has asked me whether he has enough emotional intelligence at work. So, I thought you'd like to eavesdrop on my conversation with him. Read on to section two to find out whether he does have emotional intelligence at work, or not!
NEXT LIVE WEBINAR.
Following the success of our last webinar we are having a third one! Webinar Three: "Managing anxiety - finding calm. Keep calm with the everyday traumas and worries that arrive. What better way to start the new year and a new decade. Put a stop to your anxiety now.
Wednesday 3rd February, 2010, 9.30am - 10.30am (time as in Perth, Western Australian). You may join in from anywhere in the world as long as you have a computer and an internet connection (preferably broadband).
We are keeping each new webinar at a low cost, all repeat webinars will be at their full price, so book in now while they are only $29.
Bookings are already open: http://rachelgreen.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?bookings
Not sure whether live webinars are worth doing? Look at some of the great feedback we got from Webinar Two on 10th Dec '09:
 | "It was very useful, it will help me heaps for my Christmas party next week, thanks very much.
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| It was excellent. I got lots of topic ideas. Thanks every much.
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| I have more direction. It was very good.
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| I can now see that conversations are about relationships and not time filling!
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| It was very good.
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Welcome new readers.
Welcome to you if you are one of over 35 new readers from around the world, including this fortnight from Australia, Russia, Northern Ireland, the USA and from the breakfast speech I gave last week in Perth.
Competition winner.
The winner this fortnight, of a f.r.e.e. E-book from our range, is mynrbyrd from Australia. If this is you, please contact us to claim your E-book prize by Sunday, 20th December 2009:
2. Does Father Christmas have emotional intelligence at work?
Our conversation is going to be based on the seven levels of emotional intelligence as described in the GENOS Emotional Intelligence model. It makes an interesting variation on the 12 days of Christmas!
Level 1: Emotional Self-Awareness.
"Santa, I've been trying work out how much awareness you have of your own emotions and how you feel about issues. How do you feel about Christmas?"
"Excited, very excited."
"That's good Father Christmas. Is that the only emotion you are aware of? I've been having a chat with Dancer and Prancer and they've been thinking you've been a bit grumpy of late."
"Oh never, always excited, I have to be excited."
"So your general mood is excitement?"
"Yes, yes, yes. I have to be excited. I'm Father Christmas, aren't I?"
"You asked me whether you have enough emotional intelligence at work. I'm thinking you could have more self-awareness of how you feel and how your feelings influence your reindeer."
"Now I do feel grumpy" he muttered. "I must be excited and happy, happy, happy."
Father Christmas you are allowed more than one emotion. It's what you do with your emotions that matters most.
Level 2: Emotional Expression.
"Santa, it's a bit hard to clearly express your emotions if you don't know what they are, isn't it? I have noticed you do say 'Ho ho ho' a lot though. Is this an effective way to express your optimism and excitement?"
"Of course it is. 'Ho ho ho' is a universal emotion at Christmas. Everyone knows that it means 'Get excited kids, Father Christmas is having such a good time bringing you presents'. Ho ho ho. Always excited. Happy, happy, happy."
"You're right. Ho ho ho does mean happy, happy, happy." If you were to be top notch in emotional intelligence at work Santa, you could expand the number and type of feeling words you use. It doesn't seem that emotionally intelligent to me to say 'Ho ho ho' or 'I'm excited' when you're really cheesed off at Rudolph, does it? And what about when your work load feels overwhelming, or you're frustrated by the lack of snow, or find a chimney too tight? What will you say then?"
"How about blow, blow, blow", Santa says.
"Great one, Santa. Now you'll be able to express how you feel about work issues more effectively. That's emotional intelligence at work!"
Level 3: Emotional Awareness of Others.
"Do your reindeer ever get stressed by the weight of their workload? They have a lot of dancing, prancing and pulling to do?" I ask.
"I get on so well with them all. I love my reindeer."
"I'm sure you do, but do they love you?"
"I don't know. Do reindeer even have feelings?"
"They're your staff. There's a good chance they do. Did you know that how your reindeer feel about you and their work can affect how well they pull your sleigh?"
"But they get paid to work, don't they? Are you saying that I have to worry about their feelings as well as be in one million places at once?"
"It's a good idea if you want emotional intelligence at work, Santa."
"Ho ho ho."
"Was that ho ho ho or blow blow blow?"
Level 4: Emotional Reasoning.
"This gets a bit difficult to understand for some people Santa, but you're a bright fellow, let's give it a go."
"Emotional reasoning, according to my friends at GENOS, is the skill of using emotional information, from yourself and others, in reasoning, planning and decision making."
"Why would I need to take emotional stuff and nonsense into the decisions I make when I'm approaching a chimney? What about when I did the MBA for Father Christmases. They told us to leave the emotions out of it and just be rational and logical. They even showed us the best formula for beard length but it wasn't to do with how proud I was of my hair."
"Yes, I know", I said with a sigh. "Other Father Christmases have said that too."
"Excuse me, there is only one real Father Christmas" he exclaimed.
"I'm so sorry Santa. I was just meaning those fake ones who pretend to be you in the shopping centres."
"Oh, those rascals. I'd do away with them if I could."
"That sounds like a decision to me. How would you do this dreadful deed of doing away with them?"
"I'd steal all their presents."
"But stealing is an offence Father Christmas. How would you feel when we all find out that our lovely Father Christmas is in the police lock-up?"
"Oh, that would be a big blow. I'd feel so miserable, very miserable and lonely."
"There you are Santa. A perfect example of how, if you realise in advance how utterly miserable you'd feel in jail, you might decide not to steal their presents."
"Is that what you mean by emotional intelligence at work?" he asked.
"It certainly is. When you factor in emotions as one piece of information into your decision making, your decisions could be even better. You'd stay out of jail Santa!"
Level 5: Emotional Self-Management.
"I'm good on this" says Santa before I've even explained it's about how well he efficiently manages his own emotions.
"Every Christmas I manage to be happy, happy, happy. Day, after day, after day. No child has ever seen me grumpy. It's hard work you know."
"What, delivering presents or managing your emotions?" I asked.
"Both" he chuckles. "Some mornings I wake up and think 'not another sleigh ride', but I can turn it around by singing Jingle Bells at the top of my voice in the shower and I'm excited and happy again."
"Wow! Santa, you have such a high level of emotional intelligence at work here. I wish all people I worked for could manage their emotions so well!
Level 6: Emotional Management of Others.
"Once you've had your shower and gone to work, how are you influencing the moods and emotions of your reindeer? You've got a lot of them after all. How do you get them to co-operate or feel better if they've been fighting amongst themselves?"
"I don't. I expect them to be self-motivated reindeer. Surely they should take responsibility for their own emotions?"
"Oh Santa. I wish it were so easy. Do you know that you are the leader and that Vixen, Comet and Cupid all look to you for direction? What you do makes such a difference to how well they work."
"Silly reindeer. They should just stop worrying about such minor things and just focus on the job."
"Santa, you might need to pay more attention to their emotions if you want to have even more emotional intelligence at work. How about you all sing Jingle Bells together?" Just think, a happier team of reindeer could mean they fly even faster." I stopped, suddenly curious. "They do fly, don't they? I put a search into Google today and asked if reindeer have wings but I couldn't find a decent answer."
"Ah! Trade secrets. Google doesn't know everything. Their algorithm certainly doesn't use emotional intelligence at work!" he said laughing at my surprised look that Santa would know about algorithms!
Level 7: Emotional Self-Control.
"Do you ever yell at the reindeer Santa?"
"No, never. Why would I do that? I learnt years ago they'll work much faster with a carrot than by my yelling at them."
"So you have emotional intelligence at work Santa."
"Of course I do. Was there every any doubt? I'm always so excited about Christmas. Ho ho ho. Happy, happy, happy Christmas.
3. Emotional intelligence at work this Christmas.
Each month new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
There are several sets on managing emotions for you to read. Click on the links to read three of them:
- Five ways to stop yourself being upset by difficult people.
- Ten tips on managing your emotions.
- Ten tips on giving emotionally intelligent customer service.
If you'd like to learn more about emotional intelligence I'd be delighted to come into your workplace and conduct a seminar for you or speak at your conference or event on the topic. Then you'll also know how to build more emotional intelligence at work. Maybe we could ask Father Christmas to arrange it for you! Alternatively just email me:
4. More ways to develop your emotional intelligence - how to deflect put downs, insults and negativity without getting upset.
"How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET."
If angry outbursts, complaints, tragedies, put downs, criticism, or snide comments hurt you or make you angry, withdrawn or irritated, take heart! These 2 CDs will give you practical and successful strategies for staying in control, overcoming negativity and not taking things personally. Let things wash over you like water off a duck's back. Ditch irritation. Stay calm. Manage difficult people and put downs more easily. Develop your emotional intelligence at work and home.
All the strategies on these CDs I have personally used successfully with put downs, difficult people and in negative situations. They work! I know!
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
PLUS, as a special BONUS if you buy the CDs no later than Friday, 18th December 2009, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for F.R.E.E. worth $45. Give them to a friend this Xmas - but hurry you are nearly out of time!
To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Do not miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Friday 18th December 2009. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Vaughan McCue, for this fortnight's joke.
A Scotsman visits Australia.
There was a young Scotsman called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in.
After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life.
"I'm fine", Angus said. "But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time."
'"Well, ma laddie", says his mother, "I suggest you don't associate with people like that."
''Aye", says Angus. "I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes."
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you be blessed with many wonderful moments this Christmas. Most of all, may you be blessed with love.
Have an emotionally intelligent Christmas!
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are eight CD sets, a printed book and 5 Electronic books to help you, including the 3 CD sets on "CONFIDENCE for women," and the very popular E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your emotional intelligence, confidence, presentations, managing people, interpersonal skills, work, communication or beliefs about Father Christmas!
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