This magazine keeps you up-to-date with the best in good communication skills, emotional intelligence and job interview skills. In this edition you'll find practical, easy-to-follow methods to control anger and frustration. You are welcome to forward this newsletter to your colleagues, family and friends.
Written and published by Rachel Green. Professional Speaker | Coach | Author.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:
- NEWS! Vote now, and join our exciting new webinar on Feb 3rd '10.
- The top tips: Five methods to control anger and frustration.
- More tips on how to control anger and frustration especially with customers.
- Special offer: F.R.E.E. CD set, "How to deal with difficult people without getting upset", buy one and get an extra one at no charge. Only available until Friday, 15th January 2010.
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Background.
Frustration and anger can creep up on us unawares. How do we control anger? Is it best to scream and shout and get it out or to quietly push it away? Or are there other methods to control anger and frustration?
Yes there are. Not only are there methods to control anger and frustration, there are ways to stop them arising in the first place.
Think how peaceful your life would be if you knew how to control anger so well that it didn't even occur. And you stayed calm, even when others were directing frustration and anger at you.
Would you like to let go of frustration, anger and irritation? Whether it is with your customers, your children or your in-laws it is possible to stop frustration and anger. Why give your happiness away just because other people are crabby? Read on to the tips section to find out how to control anger and frustration.
NEWS. Vote now
Blessings for a happy new year. Have you voted in the Confident Woman of the Year Awards yet? Last few days. The winner will be announced on Australia Day on 26th January 2010. Vote here: http://www.confident-woman.com.au/confident-woman-awards
NEXT LIVE WEBINAR.
Webinar Three: "Managing anxiety - creating calm". Get rid of those everyday worries that make your life a misery and find some simple ways to let your anxieties diminish.
Wednesday 03-Feb-2010, 9.30 am - 10.30am (Western Australian time, WST). Only $29. You may join in from anywhere in the world as long as you have a computer with sound, and an internet connection (preferably broadband). Just check your local time.
We are keeping each new webinar at a special low cost but then they will rise to their normal price, so get in now while it is only $29.
Bookings: http://rachelgreen.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?bookings
Welcome new readers.
Welcome to you if you are one of our 37 new readers from around the world, this fortnight. We have new readers in India, Canada, Australia, Italy, Kenya, Bulgaria, USA and more.
Competition winner.
The winner this fortnight, of a f.r.e.e. E-book from our range, is ashokacm in India. If this is you, please contact us to claim your E-book prize by Friday 15th January 2010:
2. Five methods to control anger and frustration.
Methods to control anger 1: Choose kindness and generosity over frustration and anger.
Be kind to others and you will get less frustrated. If in doubt judge people with kindness and be generous. It is so easy to dislike someone and to blame them for being selfish, mean, bossy or to make some other harsh judgement about them. Pause before you do this. You may be completely wrong in your interpretation of what is going on.
When you are kind in your judgement of someone and give them the benefit of the doubt, then you have more chance of preventing frustration, anger or irritation. This means you will stay happier and feel less stress. It is a big reward for you just from being generous to another person.
When we can all judge each other more kindly the world will have far less anger in it. Then we will experience less conflict, less unpleasantness and greater love and acceptance. That makes it worth it.
Methods to control anger 2: Laugh - it's the antidote to frustration and anger.
Laughter is a good antidote for frustration, anger and irritation. One of my clients in Local Government told me a wonderful story some years ago about a time when he was being abused by a ratepayer.
Following a big outburst, the ratepayer finally demanded, very angrily, that he see someone higher in the organisation.
Thinking quickly, my client responded, "I'm so sorry, unless you've got a direct line to God, there is no-one higher than me!"
The ratepayer cracked out laughing, his anger dissolved and they sorted out the problem between them happily!
It's not that I suggest you say this but it worked for him and shows how useful laughter is.
Methods to control anger 3: Keep a journal.
Start to keep a journal of your emotions. Notice when you feel frustration, anger or hurt. Notice what you get frustrated or angry about. Notice what you say to yourself at the time. Write down your observations. Keep doing this over weeks and months.
Then read your notes to see if there are patterns occurring. Is there something that commonly triggers your frustration or anger?
Once you have discovered this then you can seek help to deal with it or work out ways to make the trigger have less of an effect on you.
When I wrote in my journal I discovered I used to get really frustrated when people, such as my mother or my husband, said I was "too sensitive." Once I realised this was a pattern for me I set about getting rid of this trigger. Now I can accept "too sensitive" as a compliment.
Methods to control anger 4: Imagine the person who is bothering you being in a movie.
Watch the people who are associated with your frustration or anger as if they are in a movie and you're just an observer. This may help you to feel more distant from them and the event. When you are more distant and detached it is easier to stay cool, so you can then work out the best way to deal with the situation.
Methods to control anger 5: Keep your thinking neutral.
What we say to ourselves can add fuel to a potential emotional fire. By developing more awareness of what's going on in your mind, and training yourself to control your thoughts you can sometimes stop yourself from developing frustration or anger.
When someone is yelling at you, or doing something frustrating that you don't like, if you think something along the lines of, "How dare you yell at me, who do you think you are, I don't get paid enough to put up with this" ... you are likely to get angry.
If you think something more neutral, such as, "This person is having a lousy day" or "His voice is getting louder" or "I'll turn this person around" it may be easier to stop your own anger kicking in.
When people got angry and abusive with me on the crisis line I used to work on, I would say gently to myself, "I am here to help". When I did this I didn't get upset, frustrated or angry and was able to let their troubles wash over me. When I spoke I would often also say "I am here to help", instead of getting angry back. I stayed feeling good. Yes!
There is so much more I can share with you about keeping your frustration and anger levels low. This is so important especially if you are in any form of customer service or involved in meetings or work with people.
My most popular speech and seminar is: "Like water off a duck's back: How to keep your cool even with angry people." If you or your staff have angry, negative or complaining people to deal with, book me to give this speech at your next staff conference or training day. E-mail me:
3. More tips on how to control anger and frustration especially with customers.
There are lots of extra tips on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.
Click on the links to read three of them:
- Ten tips on giving emotionally intelligent customer service.
- Five ways to stop yourself from being upset by difficult people.
- Ten tips on being an emotionally intelligent Dentist.
4. More ways to reduce frustration and anger with difficult people.
"How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET
Want some more practical suggestions to stop you getting upset, frustrated or angry at people because they are being negative, unpleasant or difficult? Would you like to be able to stay calm irrespective of how people are so that you don't react to their negativity?
This unique and practical 2 CD set, ""How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET will show you how.
"How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET" gives you my personal tips on managing negativity and staying calm, so that you don't feel frustration, anger or hurt in response. It is no good knowing all the good things to say to people if you've got irritated and angry. Instead, let "How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET" teach you how to stop irritation or frustration from arising.
Click here for more details.
Click here to order.
Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Friday, 15th January 2010, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for F.R.E.E. worth $45. Give them to a friend and help them too.
To be eligible for the extra copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click newsletter when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Friday, 15th January 2010. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to our Confidence 4 U reader Margaret Fort, from Image Update in Perth, for this fortnight's joke.
The traveller in Australia.
Upon entry into Australia a traveller is at the customs gate.
The customs officer asks him, "Do you have a criminal record?"
The traveller replies, "No, I didn't think you needed one any more!"
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
When you successfully use these and other methods to control anger your life will be happier and more peaceful no matter whom you meet. May you stay happy and content and let frustration and anger fade away.
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are eight CD sets, a printed book and 5 Electronic books to help you, including the 3 CD sets on "CONFIDENCE for women," and the very popular E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your emotional intelligence, interpersonal skills, work, health, communication, frustration or anger.
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