Conversation Skills: Ten tips for making good conversations at Christmas by Rachel Green

1. Get yourself in the mood and find your Christmas cheer.
   Get yourself in the mood for your Christmas functions. Christmas is a time for celebration, cheer and compassion. Go to your functions in a positive frame of mind, happy to spread cheerfulness this Christmas. Don't go along complaining about having to see the relatives, or fed-up with the amount of cooking you have had to do, or wishing you didn't have to go to so many functions this Christmas. Be of good heart and prepared to enjoy yourself. People will treat you better when you are cheerful than when you are down and negative. Be ready to enjoy yourself - otherwise you are wasting your life.
   

2. Talk about Christmas.
   What conversation topics can you talk about? Here is one tip. You already have something in common with all the people you meet at Christmas functions, dinners and family get-togethers - and that is Christmas. Talk about what you have been doing since you saw people last Christmas. Talk about the best Christmas you have ever had. Talk about how Christmas has changed for you since you were a child. Talk about what Christmas means to you, your favourite Christmas holiday, your favourite Christmas music, your memories of Santa Claus as a child, your memory of family get-togethers, of going to church, of singing carols, of your most unusual Christmas. Christmas makes an interesting conversation topic once you move beyond the boring question, such as, "What are you doing for Christmas?"
   

3. Look after people who look lost, bored or who are on their own.
   Introduce yourself to people who look lost, bored or who are on their own. For example, if you notice your niece has not said much all afternoon on Christmas or Boxing Day then have a quiet one-on-one chat with her. If you notice your junior staff at a client function are looking a little awkward around the senior clients then go and chat to them and introduce them to some new people. If you see clients standing on their own, no matter who they are or who you are, go and greet them and get them involved. Whether you are the host or simply a guest, engage with the people who are looking awkward or feeling a bit left out or intimidated. They will be relieved to have someone to talk to and you could make a real difference to them this Christmas.

4. Think of something different to talk about.
   Be original this Christmas and think of something different to talk about. The wine, turkey or the heat/snow can get boring especially if people have been to a lot of Xmas functions. Try a topic you've never spoken about before, from Apples, Ballroom Dancing and Implants through to Zoos and Zebras!
   

5. Use the Christmas presents, cards or decorations as a way of generating topics.
   Generate topics to talk about from the Christmas presents, cards or decorations. For example, you might use them to lead you to memories, eg, "This (present) reminds me of the time when...", or "That picture of Santa Claus reminds me of my favourite Christmas when I was a child and I left out carrots for his Reindeer."
   
   Or you might use them to lead you to your dreams and plans, eg, "That (present) has me thinking about my holiday next year when I will ...",
   
   Or you might use them to discuss life values or society, eg, "I notice there are over 20 Christmas cards. Why do you think we send Christmas cards but find it so hard to stay in touch during the year?"
   
   

6. Keep your energy up by looking after yourself this Christmas.
   It is so easy to get jaded by Christmas and to run out of energy. This does not help you connect with other people easily nor to make interesting conversations. Pace yourself this Christmas so that when you do attend a dinner, event or party you go with energy. Take breaks, go home early, say "no" to some invitations that are not particularly important, avoid over-eating (the food served at Christmas functions is seldom energy giving and is usually high in fat and sleep inducing), exercise, don't drink too much, and so on. And this applies to you if you are the one hosting the Christmas dinner for the whole family. Pace the cooking. Get others to help. Do some preparation before the day. Then on the day you can enjoy yourself and have energy for your guests. Monitor and maintain your energy levels this Christmas.

7. Avoid questions that close down conversation.
   The types of questions you ask can make a great difference to the ease with which your conversations keep going this Christmas. There are certain questions that can kill conversation, without your meaning them to. For example, questions that start with "Did you? Do you? Have you?" or which contain the phrases, "Isn't it? Wasn't it?" or "Hasn't it?" in them can kill conversation. For example, "Great dinner, wasn't it?", "Are you enjoying yourself?", "Have you had a good year, Uncle Albert?", "Wasn't it good to see Santa Claus?" or "Isn't it nice to see Emma looking so well?" may only get a "yes" or "no" as an answer. Avoid these closed questions.

8. Ask questions that open-up conversation.
   Ask open-ended questions in conversation rather than closed questions. For example, use questions such as, "What are your reactions to ...", "In what ways ..." or "How does a) compare with b)?" Examples of such questions include, "What are your reactions to the Boxing Day road toll?", "In what ways do you think Christmas is best spent?", "How does this Christmas dinner compare with the ones you had as a child?" "What have been the highlights of your year this year?" "I've noticed how well Emma is - what do you think are the best ways to keep healthy?" Keep your questions open-ended to give you the best chance of making interesting and easy conversation this Christmas.
   

9. Talk history.
   Talking about history can really help to open-up conversation with some people, particularly older people, whether it was Christmas as a child, the war or how times have changed. Be willing to reminisce and to join in with your own experiences. If you listen to some people reminiscing you will hear of a whole different world from the one you live in. And this can help you get to know why people are the way they are.

10. Involve people in activities and not just talking.
    Christmas does not mean that all you do is talk. This can get very tiring after a while. Instead think about joint activities you could share together. If it is a family event, for example, it may be that you all go for a walk after dinner, or that you have some music to dance to, or you play games such as Monopoly, Balderdash or Trivial Pursuit. You may play home videos or go through photograph albums or visit the park, anything that will help the family relax and enjoy the time together. Whatever you do VARY it. If it is a client function you are running, you might invite a comedian to come along and entertain for half-an-hour, or have an ensemble performing, or play a quiz with prizes. Do not limit your Christmas functions to only holding a glass of wine and talking to people. With an alternative focus people have so much more to talk about and experience together.
    

More tips on how to make good conversations and be successful at business networking

If you are greeting and talking to multiple people at any social occasion, you'll need good conversational skills, won't you? If you've ever run out of things to say when you meet people, or got stuck with a boring person or fallen into uncomfortable silences, then take hope! There is a unique and practical DVD available to boost your conversation skills and business networking strategies:

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Make your business networking work for you.
Rachel Green,
PO Box 344, Kelmscott, Western Australia 6991.
Phone: +61 8 9390 1188.
E-mail:

Disclaimer: The information in these tips is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every business networking situation. While every care has been taken to ensure they are useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from their implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your business networking or communication. Thank you.