How to be taken seriously and win respect, by Rachel Green.
If you want to be taken seriously, make sure you treat yourself and your ideas with respect. Here are some tips to help you gain respect and be taken seriously by others.
- Make sure your voice, vocabulary and non-verbals all give the same message.
If you say something clearly and use a timid voice, without eye contact, it is unlikely that people will believe what you say. Instead, make sure that your voice sounds confident, that your words are confident and your body looks confident, all at the same time.
- Smile when pleased; don't smile when displeased.
Some people smile even when they are angry, as if trying to please others at the same time as trying to say they are angry. This is unlikely to help people take your feelings seriously. Make sure your facial expression fits the emotion you are conveying. For example, have a firm facial expression when wanting to be determined, smile when happy.
- Use your full name.
Abbreviated names, for example, Kitty instead of Katherine, may sound like a child's name. This may reduce the seriousness with which someone approaches you in business or work situations. Use your full name: Susanne rather than Susie, Frederick rather than Freddy.
- Control your voice: have depth and firmness.
Try to reduce the number of times your voice rises at the end of a sentence, (unless you are asking a question). A rising end to a sentence can sound as though you are unsure of what you are saying, or that you are very young. When your voice rises in pitch your ideas are less likely to be treated with respect.
- Stand your ground.
If you are saying something, for instance in a meeting, and you are challenged by someone else, do not automatically back-down or go quiet. This could be your opportunity to stand your ground and convince the other people you are correct. The challenge is your opportunity to provide further evidence to substantiate your ideas and opinions. This can win you respect. Backing down may leave you looking weak, (unless, of course, you are backing down because you are wrong and are graciously saying so). Be willing to stick to and explain your point and this could gain you respect.
- Have a sense of humour and be able to laugh at yourself.
If you always take yourself very seriously, if you take things personally, if you are unable admit to and laugh at your mistakes, you may lose people's respect. Someone who is confident is able to laugh at their mistakes, and at themselves, and to see the funny side of life. Be willing to laugh at yourself and you will win the respect of many people.
- Say "No, thank you" politely and have boundaries.
Saying "Yes" to all requests or demands made of you, does not automatically win you people's respect. It can lead to your being taken for granted and being considered a "yes" man or woman. In contrast, if you can turn down inappropriate requests or demands placed upon you, and say "No! thank you" politely, then you may win respect. Do not let other people wear you down until you say "yes", when you need to say "no". Protect your boundaries when you need to.
Further information
Want to know more? Want to become really confident and hear how seven different women have built their confidence? Then there is a unique and inspiring CD set you can get that is packed full of many more practical tips on how to be confident.
They contain a series of interviews with six real and inspiring women, like you and me. No, they are not celebrities. No, they don't look like super models. No, they aren't rich. But they are confident. They work, they are mothers, they have survived divorce, regained their confidence after traumas, they have learnt how to handle new situations, how to make friends, how to meet strangers, how to travel alone ... and much more. And they tell you how to build your self-esteem and confidence too, in ways that are easy to apply and understand.
And, you can also subscribe to our FREE E-magazine CONFIDENCE 4 U and get free tips on confidence, communication and conversations every fortnight. There are jokes to make you laugh each fortnight too. Click here to subscribe now for free.
Listen to the women on the CDs and discover that confidence is a skill that can be learnt – that you can learn. They could change your life. They changed mine – I thought I was positive until I heard them – but they blew me away.
May you gain the respect you deserve.
Best wishes,
Rachel Green
PO Box 344, Kelmscott, Western Australia 6991.
Phone: +61 8 9390 1188. Fax +61 8 9390 1199
E-mail:
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These tips are only general in nature and may not apply to all people, all cultures or all situations. While every care has been taken to ensure the tips are useful, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from their implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, relationships, self-esteem or confidence. Thank you.
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